In the Beginning

In The Beginning

Thanks Debbie for the journal. I'm already putting it to good use. This entire trip has already been a TRIP and I haven't even left yet. Let me break it down as best I can:In The Beginning.....

1. Dwayne Rogers called me late one night to tell me he had an idea for me. 'You should shoot a follow up to your Flag book. The political climate is so fertile' Hmmm.'I'll think about it. maybe...'. The next day I called him back with 'I'm gonna do it internationally. I have a list of cities'. Well let's just say the list grew, and grew, and grew. It changed, it got edited, got abandoned, and came back again. I have been obsessing over this project for a year and a half. Now I'm finally leaving.

2. Sponsorship aka: How to beg, beg, and keep on begging. When you're done begging- wish, write lists, pray, and beg some more. After you've done all that- cry, scrap your idea, feel like a failure, and then beg some more. Call and write letters and emails to companies until they get sick of you and give you what you want or at least something for free.

3. Money / Panic attacks: These two things go together and it usually helps to be a little bit delusional ie: 'Yeah I can make this work' or ' I know how to do it for cheap'.Well you do things for cheap, and then cheaper, and cheeeeaaap after the moment you realize your broke. After you realize your broke, you have a panic attack and then you cheer yourself up by being delusional again. And then miraculously it all works out, just like you knew it would, because you always have a plan. The plan is called resourcefulness / pride.

4. Friends: I have great friends. Not only are they beautiful and talented, but they're smart too. I previously had an itinerary which required I fly to distant locations. Nice idea, no money. I was freaking out about raising money or conjuring a miracle to pay for all the flights. Enter wisdom: Jamel Shabazz. Jamel convinced me to scrap my planned itinerary and focus on Europe as a start and take the rail train to cut costs.Brilliant. Basically plan Flag International the same way I planned the original book.Clarity in a time of need! All I now had to do was, totally rearrange my trip, quickly do research for 10 new locations and find local guides, translators, and lodging! Oh and by the way this all needed to be done within a month. Nothing like switching gears on a deadline. That's life!Bon Voyage PartyLast night I saw my friends for my Bon Voyage party at Smooch in Brooklyn.I got a free Ice cream cake (long story). All my bestest friends showed up. It was a beautiful time with a beautiful crowd. Maitland taught me the 'Lion Claw' handshake. Very simple, very real, very positive. I was exhausted-literally.

My house is a MESS, I panicked over money, I haven't finished my work deadlines, and I have to learn how to use my new video camera, ipod shuffle, and new digital camera. I may have to return some purchases because I've spent too much. I bought way too much stuff or I didn't realize how much it would all add up to...half my budget! I know now and it has scared the hell out of me. How did I manage to spend so much so quickly? I only bought what I need. I will get by, but I have to really count my pennies. No nice hotels, maybe I will be blessed with free places to stay (Please God!). My father called me the next day and offered to UPGRADE my hotels!

June 24 (Departure day),O.K. I'm finally leaving! I'm sitting on Aer Lingus which is very green and very Irish. I love it! Shamrocks all the way! I spoke to about ten of my good friends and my parents of course. Richard Rose dropped me off at JFK. Vy is moving into my place tonight. It all sounds good now, but up until a couple of hours ago I was a crazy woman. Yesterday morning I cried, my apartment was a ******* mess, my work deadline was not completed, and I was completely in a panic for money. I'm not sure if I was ever this hectic before a trip or I just don't remember. But either way this send off was hell! Not glamourous at all. But life moves on and I'm moving with it. God is good. For real.

Everything got done as it always does. I feel like this trip is a new beginning and a confirmation of who I am, and why I'm here. We all have a purpose. Sounds corny but I think it's true. Dublin is going to be great. The whole trip is going to be great. I'm going to have a great time (Positive thinking). Aer Lingus flight 108 to Dublin (5hours). Oh oh. It's raining thunderstorms in Dublin for the next 5 days. Oh well, I guess I have time to sleep and prep for the rest of the trip. Sometimes things work out afterall....I need time to sleep, prep, check my equipment, and read my guide books. It's all about perception. Either way things are all good to me. Yesterday I had a strong feeling I was not completely prepared. Now I will have time to get 'right'. I'm sleepy as hell! Richard said 'You got what you wanted' and he was right. I wanted this this a lot, very badly. Honestly If I didn't do this I would feel like a failure and always wondering 'what if?' It would haunt me for the rest of my life. Now that my major panic attack is over, I can enjoy the ride. My new adventure. On the way to JFK there were two huge american flag banners on the highway. A good sign. I think I'm going to sleep now.